Nap time blogging!

Yes, both babies, and Eric, are napping. I am not, mostly b/c I got a good nights sleep with no, yes I said NO interruptions. It was fantastic. I needed a break from everything, so I got into the car by myself (after the babies were tubbed and in bed) and drove myself to levittown to pick up my sister. We went to see Denise play a gig at a bar in Bensalem. It was kinda strange to try to get ready to go out...its not something I do often, and really have no desire to pretty myself up for creepers in a bar, so I threw on some semi cute jeans and top, threw on a hoodie and my hat and headed out....a few good things came out of this trip. 1. Got to hang with my sister and have some bonding time, not all deep sister bonding, but just to hang out wiht out worries. 2. Got to see my BFF perform and her her sing, which always makes me happy. 3. Got the surprised look from the bouncer when he carded me and 4. Was told that I look 24!!!!! (which was pretty much was the icing on my cake). Sleeping in my old room at my moms all alone was a comforting strange memory, so it was kinda hard to fall asleep, but once I was out, it was heaven!

This week was a whirl wind. On Monday one of my students was hit by a car on his way to school (by the middle school principal). Its a horrible accident for all parties involved, however I feel a little more compasion and concern for my kid. My kids are like my children away from my home, and because I have most of them for 3-4 years, I get to know them and the family very well. Not to mention that I also teach him in class....Last we heard he was air lifted to the hospital and was conscious on the scene, but later we heard that there was severe swelling on his brain that the doctors could not get under control, a broken pelvis and all the other contusions that come with getting hit by an SUV. I feel so helpless, and need to do something, but we were told to just make cards and write letters so when he is able, he can read them. I am pretty sure he is in a coma (though not sure if its medically induced or not, but thats what I figured when I was told "he is reacting to light and sound") and they had to wait for the swelling to go down to determine if there was brain damage and if he needed brain surgery. Its so sad. It makes me remember a kid in high school who was beat up, went home, had an aneurysom and was in a coma for 3 months, only to come to having to relearn everything....Again, this is one of my kids.....dont mess with my kids.

All this sudden change in life had me thinking way too much. How fast things can change, and its ironic how a change in the wrong direction can cause me so much thought, I mean change happens all the flippin time. But when bad things happen, I think about the people I say im gonna call and never do, maybe i forgot, maybe i got tired, maybe i was just too lazy to find my phone, and it made me feel guilty as hell because what if that was the last time i were to talk to that person? What if they REALLY REALLY needed me for something? All that lead to me trying to remember memories from the last few years. Its heartbreaking to know how you forget, and me, i forget things so easily, holding on to memories from forever ago is a challenge, and it pissed me off. So I started to read old journals, which was depressing as all hell. I didnt realize I was so.....EMO i guess...dark, depressed, hopeless...but thats not what I remember me being and thats not what some people remember about me, I was happy, friendly and made people laugh, I guess that means I was a fantastic actress b/c i doubt I would write the things I wrote, intended for me only, to be so over the top, so i had some deep shit going on, and looking back on the situations (relationships that went wrong, the ones that never went anywhere, the mess up friendships) I wish i knew then what I know now!

On the bright side, i guess, we had a 2 hour delay for snow on friday....and holy hell is it cold. I am not a fan of this "artic blast" and am wondering what ever happened to global warming???? Maybe i need to read up more or something b/c while i know about all the "concerns" I am being selfish and was like, bring on global warming....(this is prob. not a good statement coming from the environmental science teacher) but really, being selfish, I could use like a 10 degree annual warm up....Okay, global warming is bad, ice melting, polar bears habitat distruction, rise in ocean waters, lowering ocean temps and salinity...all those things are bad news...but my coldness is more impactful and i want that to end...Mia said to Eric today that she wants winter to be over so she can go swimming....I say, lets move!!!