Finally a Moment

For Klemmer, because you have been so patient.
Reading Rainbow:
So I am kinda a book series junkie. First it was my relationship with Harry, then Bella Swan, my summer in The House of Night, and now I am hooked on Percy Jackson. He is headed to the movies in February, so like every good series, the silver screen is just a stop on the road to global domination. If you like series, mythology, or are interested in current young adult novels, i highly suggest it. There are 5 books, easy reads, some of it is predictable (as should be for an adult) but there are still parts that keep me reading. What will be next when Percy is over? There is another House of Night book coming out in November, but I will be on the search for my next fix....

Life:
Has been kicking me where it counts. I am a tight rope artist. The balancing act of being a mom, teacher, wife, sister, daughter, friend and whatever other hats I wear on a daily basis is getting difficult. To get it all done is impossible, and I know this, but why do I lay awake at night (or wake up in the middle of the night) with the "i should haves". Because there is a part of me that feels bad for the possiblity of not meeting the expectations other have of me. Its easy to see what Im not doing, and while I try to focus on all that i do (cause its reassuring) I feel like other only focus on what I dont do, or where I slack...and really, I just want to scream "kiss my ass".

Kids:
Mia is totally giving me a run for my money. At first it was the-not following directions, not napping, waking up other kids...it took me totally loosing it b/c the next day she took a nap, so I know it is not the fact that she can't, but she is choosing not to, and thats super frustrating. So I go all sped mom and think of ways to positively change her behaviors...but positive reinforcement doesnt work on my kid, so we resorted to the negative, and have seen some improvement. I still feel bad for her, sometimes she makes mistakes that are simply b/c she is not paying attention, so I am really working on making her recognize whats going on. Then there is the lying..please tell me all 3 year olds go through the lying stage. Again, here I see little Ange--Mom: "Angela why did you cut your hair?" Ange: "I didnt" Mom: "Angie, your bangs are cut and there is hair on the floor: Ange: "someone else did it" UGH!!! So I try to think back to why I lied about EVERYTHING...and try to understand why she is doing what she is doing. Maybe we have too high expectations and she feels like she can't live up to them and she wants to make us happy...or maybe she is just a liar liar pants on fire. This morning she knocked her plate almost off the table, and blamed it on a bug bite....Oh and fell on the playground Thursday and smacked her face, so another dr. visit and a possible mild concussion....

As for Gavin, you can see his personality just pouring out...he is not as confident as Mia was at this age, I swear he could walk, but as soon as he senses any possibilty of falling, he just sits. If we try to hold his hands and walk, his legs turn into limp noodles. Everything will always be on his terms. Finally sleeping a little better, and naps are solid on the weekends (which lets me blog!). He is huge, 21.7lbs 29 inches, I just bought 12 month stuff and he is almost done with it. Right now we have snot nose, which just so happend to start the day after he got his first flu shot (i am not even gonna get started on that, we dont do flu shots in our house, but the dr convinced me b/c of his age, he is in daycare and he gets wheezy...in my moment of weakness I agreed, and now im left wondering if i made the right choice). He saying mama and baba and Ah means mia. Said dada once or twice. He growls like a monster and is finding that when he screams at the top of his lungs, people react...I find this stage difficult, the lack of communication for him is frustrating, so we are working on sign language, which was going really well for about 2 weeks, and this week he has decided to F the signing and just scream.

OTHER:
I found one of my first students on FB the other day, and was so excited...I mean, this is a kid who would drive me crazy, but in a loving way. He would sit under my desk to do work (b/c he could focus better there), he is the reason i put a three sided box in my classroom and stuck a desk in it and made a white flag so that if he needed help, he could just wave it. I loved that class, and when I was moved into a more regular ed setting, i was thankful, but now, I miss having my own group of kids. So I am still awaiting his friend request, I want to know if our program worked, what is he doing in/with life, I want to see the results of my teaching. This is why FB rules, because with FB I can see that what I am doing is making kids into good adults....or not, b/c some kids will make bad decisions, and thats not my fault.

Thats enough outta me for today, I wonder how long I can stay in my PJ's...yesterday I made it to 3pm. Today we have stuff to do, so im sure i gotta get dressed soon.